Best of Campus Watch: May | June 2014

By Alcalde Staff in 40 Acres, May | June 2014 on May 5, 2014 at 12:37 pm | No Comments

If a crime happens on campus—no matter how trivial or bizarre—the University of Texas Police Department is on the case. Featured in the New York Times, the department’s daily compilation of police reports shows the rarely seen humorous side of UTPD officers.

Frank Erwin Center

Public Intoxication:

UTPD Dispatch received a 911 call from an elevator located in the Frank Erwin Center. While en route, officers were advised that an unclothed male subject was walking inside the arena. Even though it was not his birthday, the subject was easily located and detained in his birthday suit. Yes, this was the Special Events Center, but this is not the type of special event the Erwin Center is accustomed to having performed. Unable to bare it any longer, officers contacted EMS for further evaluation.
 
 
 
 
 
2100 Guadalupe

Driving While Intoxicated, Duty Upon Striking a Fixture, and Possession of a Controlled Substance:

An officer saw a silver vehicle strike a planter box at the 2100 block of Guadalupe Street. After [the officer followed for] several blocks with lights and siren activated, the vehicle eventually stopped at the drive-thru of McDonalds. After consenting to field sobriety testing, it was clear that the driver had no need for a McDonald’s Big Mac as she had already consumed too much “special sauce.” The subject was arrested for driving while intoxicated and transported to Central Booking.
 
 
 
 
 

Jester West

Possession of Marijuana:

A UT police officer responded to Jester West Dormitory for a reported smell of marijuana. A non-UT male subject, associated with a ballet company, was identified as the individual currently staying in the room. During a consent search, the officer found and seized a canister containing marijuana. After a failed performance, the subject was unable to dance his way out of a citation for possession and was released.

Illustrations by Angie Calderon.

Tags: blotter, Campus Watch, funny, humor, police, UTPD