Why Texas Is Like a Fine Scotch

Hey, they said it…but okay, we’ll take it!

A funny website, Total Frat Move, has a story this week comparing each Big 12 school to a type of liquor.

Each school took its digs, but The University of Texas came out pretty well, we’d say, by being likened to The Macallan, a fine scotch whisky.

Like a taste for scotch, UT too is an acquired taste, writer Roger Dorn says. “They’re still distinguished, sophisticated, recognizable, and the hallmark of scotch,” he says. “They also boast a rich history and are not afraid to tell you about it. Arrogant…really.”

Other schools got compared to everything from club soda to Captain Morgan to trashcan punch.

A couple hit us as all too apt, including Oklahoma as tequila (“Like tequila, Oklahoma football is a force to be reckoned with. They don’t just beat you down. They humiliate you, make you look stupid, run up the score, and you wake up feeling violated the next day.”)

And then there’s poor Iowa State as bottom-shelf vodka. (“Iowa State is just happy to be at the party. No one knows who brought them or how they got there, but dammit they are in the building.”) Aww, we still love you, Cyclones!

Some of the language in the original story is too hot for us to print, but if you’re interested (and have a good sense of humor), check out the full deal here.


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