The Irish Humor Tour

Flying Longhorns trips offer unexpected benefits—in this case, an in-house comedian.

   

On Galway Bay: “The water temperature is 49 degrees, and if you don’t know how cold that is, you go in the water as a little boy, and you come back out as a little girl.” On traditional Irish instruments: “You like the Ullilean pipes? Sounds like a cat in a bulldog’s jaws.”

On romance: “My first wife left me. My second wife won’t.”

On Catholic best-practices: “You can kiss a nun once, you can kiss a nun twice, but you should never get in the habit.”

On the County Cork- County Kerry rivalry (not unlike the Longhorn-Aggie one): “What do you call a _______* man who marries a gorilla? A social climber.” *The joke runs both ways. Kerry men say “Cork” here; Cork, the reverse.

On the Lone Star State: “When am I coming to Texas? I gotta see my psychiatrist when this is over—see when I can travel again.”

When 21 intrepid travelers signed up for a midsummer getaway to Ireland, they envisioned a peaceful drive through the misty Irish countryside. Never did they expect they’d just jumped onboard a 13-day Irish Humor Tour.

Commanding a bus mic from the drop seat of a huge motor coach, trip leader Gerry O’Brien spouted hilarious observations and jokes nonstop. (Which proved a great distraction as the bus, steered by an ex-farmer with nerves of steel, squeaked past other vehicles along the narrow Irish roads).

O’Brien called Irish rain “torrential mist” and centenarians “coffin-dodgers,” for starters. See a sampling of his other jokes—at least those fit to print—below.

So how does an Irishman get to be so entertaining? The son of a longtime pub manager, O’Brien recommends growing up in a bar.

 

 

From top left: A pint of Guinness; on the water near Killarney; the Irish countryside as seen through “torrential mist”; dipping a toe into water with legendary Irish healing powers

Credit: Lynn Freehill

 

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